I have just gone through a huge process about whether or not to have our new room mate move in with us. I just couldn’t find my total Yes to it…I had all kinds of reasons in my mind why it wasn’t a good thing, not least not wanting to share my space with yet another person….and especially someone who I p[received, and feared might be overbearing, and take up too much space ( something I have definitely been accused of myself in the past!) But this is MY SPACE! I need to have absolute control in my space, and I don’t want to share it with anyone else. I could feel my little kid was having quite a tantrum!
Several times I wanted to call her up and say NO, it doesn’t feel right, etc etc. I voiced my reservations but decided to do it on a trial basis….and she moved in. I am happy to say that all of the judgments and projections I had on her are MINE and that she is showing up as a loving, caring and wise being, very generous with her presence, and her awesome cooking! This has been a HUGE lesson for me. As I get to know her, I see her beauty and appreciate what she brings more and more. She is teaching me ALOT! I especially appreciate the way, when I give her any feedback at all, she simply says: “Thank you for telling me that.” without any defensiveness or reactivity. I appreciate her calm presence, her ability to see all sides, and her generosity of spirit…
I just want to share with you the major lesson that this has taught me is that my judgments are NEVER the truth. They are a projection of my own mind and ego and prevent me from seeing into the heart and soul of another Being, who may be very different to me, but nonetheless deserves my respect and acceptance. Hopefully I can learn something about myself in the way that I respond or react to them, as the case may be.
As I was deciding whether to let this woman into my home and my heart, I have to say I am so glad I decided not to listen to my own or anyone else’s judgments and go for the separation which my ego mind feeds on. So glad I took the high road and said Yes, rather than No, and found another opportunity to let go and Love, which is what feels better all round in the end….to keep moving towards creating the world of Oneness which I am committed to, and shows up to test me in my life, again and again!